


Hot Chocolate

by brybrykcov



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean/Castiel - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Multi, coffee shop AU, lemme get there first, smut at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-08
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-31 20:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1036063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brybrykcov/pseuds/brybrykcov
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an effort to recover from a traumatic kidnapping and rape, Castiel moves in with his brother, Gabriel. Job hunting in a new town is hard and the former middle school teacher is running out of luck so, the blue-eyed man goes to work at Gabe's coffee shop, "Heaven's Gates". It isn't the ideal job until one day, he meets Dean, a writer born and raised in Lawrence who will change his life for the better. His flashbacks may pain him but with Dean, he learns to love himself and all of his battle scars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Cry Over Spilled Hot Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Supernatural Fanfic ever so just let me know what you think. I think I'm going to really enjoy writing this :)

      “Castiel! Get your ass out of bed right now! It’s time to go to work! I swear to god if you don’t show up in less than two hours today, I will personally fire you!”

       “You can’t do that Gabe! I’m your brother!” Cas mumbled into the pillow.

            “But I will make you fucking clean the store! And don’t you forget it! Now get moving!”

            Castiel groaned and covered his head with the blanket. Living with one’s brother was not necessarily ideal at his age, but Cas needed a place to stay in the new town and Gabriel seemed to have been the perfect opportunity….about 2 months ago. Job hunting had been slow for Castiel Novak and in order to earn his keep in the surprisingly nice apartment, he had taken to working at Gabriel’s coffee shop, “Heaven’s Gates”.

           After debating between the temperature differences in his room to the nice memory foam mattress for several minutes, Castiel decided that cleaning the shop was not worth extra sleep he needed. Placing his elbows down on the bed, the raven-haired man slowly pushed himself out of his little haven and reluctantly slugged to the bathroom.

           He showered last night so instead, Cas splashed some water on his face and attempted to rid himself of the bags under his eyes. He took his time climbing into his usual black dress pants and white dress shirt, his eyes glancing to, but deciding against the blue tie hanging on a rack above the toilet. _There isn’t anything I need to dress up for anyway,_ he decided. His daily battle with his hair proved again victorious for the black mess atop his head, much to Cas’s frustration. Last to go in were his contacts and just in time too, as the man ran downstairs to the ever familiar coffee shop, grabbing his apron on the way out.

            “Look who finally decided to show up!”

             Castiel sighed and rolled his eyes as his brother smirked in his direction. Already in the store was a young looking, college kid studying in the corner booth and a business woman chatting loudly with someone on her Bluetooth. _Who the fuck needs coffee at 6:30 am on a Saturday? And who the fuck is going to work on a Saturday?_ He wondered to himself. _Oh, right, me._

            Tying his apron, he walked briskly over to the cash register and gave a slight nod to the woman on the phone. She merely glared at him as if Castiel had been interrupting an important meeting with the president. Perhaps he had interrupted though. Cas often wondered things about people like that. _What were they really hiding behind the fancy business suits, fast paces, and serious expressions? Were they unhappy with their job? Did they love the demand of office hours? Did they have a loving spouse and as many children as a home could hold? Or did they live alone in a downtown apartment with Netflix and two cats named Mittens and---_

            “Hello? Dude? Are you ok? Do I need to freaking call the ambulance because I will if you’re having some sort of black out? Because I cannot be held

accountable for anything! I already have enough on my pl---“

            “Yes, yes! I’m fine. I apologize. What would you like?” he snapped out of his daze as the green-eyed man waved his hands several times into Cas’s face.

            “Woah! OK, Mr. Sassy. I just need a large hot chocolate. Nothing fancy. Just the hot, and the chocolate.”

            “You already got the hot part covered…” Cas murmured, ringing up the man’s request.

            “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that?”

             “Oh…uhhh…that’ll be $3.29.” Castiel said while his face turned a bright shade of crimson. He forced a smile while Gabriel snickered from behind him. Cas turned around and glared until Gabe broke out into a fit of laughter spilling the customer’s drink all over the counter and all over Castiel. This only made him laugh more.

            “Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I’ll get you another one right away!” Cas gasped, turning an even deeper shade of red.

            “Hey, don’t worry about it. You should probably get cleaned up first.” The leather clad man said chuckling.

            “Thank you very much err….”

            “Dean.”

            “Dean,” Cas smiled into the name, “I’ll get our back girl Charlie to come and help Gabriel here. I’m so so sorry and I really hope you’re not in a hurry!”

            “You’re all good, man. Just needed my early morning sugar fix.”

            Cas smiled and apologized once again, turned, and quickly stepped over a floor-ridden Gabriel who was still in a fit of giggles. He tapped Charlie in the back and explained the situation, all the while trying to keep the hot liquid from burning his stomach and chest.

            “Just get upstairs, geek. I got this covered,” Charlie pushed him towards the apartment stairs and walked toward the shop to take care of the chaotic situation that was unfolding behind the doors.

            Castiel walked upstairs determined to get clean, but felt a pang in his chest. _I should’ve grabbed his number before my asshole brother ruined it all._ He thought. But Cas didn’t turn around, instead he decided to prioritize the burning sensation seeping through his brand new, white shirt and continued up the stairs.

 

* * *

 

           “That, was the absolute BEST moment of my life, Castiel! I think you may have actually fulfilled my comedic needs for the next 50 years!”

            Gabriel had been laughing at him all day just for that stupid little comment that had slipped out of Cas’s big, fat, dumb mouth.

            “I cannot believe you would be so forward, my dear Castiel! I am absolutely flabbergasted!” Gabriel said in his “best” faux British accent before breaking out into another fit of laughter.

            “Can you please stop laughing at my expense? I already embarrassed myself enough today, thank you very much, and I don’t need any more reminder of it.” Cas pleaded angrily with his brother.

            Fortunately for Cas, Charlie came to his rescue. “Just stop it for like 10 minutes, Gabe. Just because your own love life is shit doesn’t mean you can pick on someone else’s failures. Oh—Cas, I’m sorry. It didn’t mean to come out that way. Ugh whatever you know what I mean.”

            “Bitch..” Gabe muttered under his breath.

            “Heard that, but at least I have a girlfriend. See you later hos!” Charlie grabbed her keys and walked out, and then it was Cas’s turn to laugh.

            “Oh my god. She made a mess of you, Gabe! Watch out or she’ll tear you to pieces!” Cas chuckled, almost in tears.

            “I’m still her boss…” Gabriel mumbled.

            “Yeah but she just made you her bitch!”

 

* * *

 

            Castiel smiled as his long day of work came to an end and he could finally settle into his bed once again. He curled up with his blanket, while a mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and cinnamon sat off to the side, adequately matching Cas’s criteria of the perfect hot chocolate. His current book, a dystopian novel, lay on his lap, begging to be opened, with Castiel happy to oblige. Cas was content…until the moment his door was thrown open and two of his nieces barged in, knocking over several stacks of books in the process.

            “Uncle Cas! Uncle Cas!” they yelled, hopping onto the bed giggling and squealing.

            “Hey girls! Umm could you watch---no Hael! Don’t touch that! Oh careful, Anael! Please don’t knock that over!”

            Much to Cas’s shock, his door was once again forced upon to reveal a petite red-head with the posture of a military woman. “Girls, out of Uncle Cas’s bedroom! No one told you that you could come in here! Go to the kitchen and help Uncle Gabe bake those delicious cookies.”

            Castiel was overjoyed for his sister’s interference. He didn’t think that he could handle much more of the Devilish Duo.

            Anna smiled down at him from the doorway as the twins ran to help the “fun” uncle.

            “How have you been holding up?” she asked fondly.

            “Better than I thought I would be, but I still would have liked to have found a job by now.”

            “Everything will work out Cas. I hear there’s a new opening down at the high school for sophomore history if you want to check that out. I know you’re used to middle school students but if it comes down to it, I would go ahead and bite the bullet. I mean, what have you got to lose?”

            “I know, Anna. I just don’t know if I’m ready yet. There’s so much I’d have to prepare for and I just—“

            “Castiel,” Anna moved to sit on the bed and took Cas’s hand in hers, “I told you already. Everything will work out fine, you just have to believe it will. You’ve made a strong recovery and I’m sure that living here, closest to your family, is the best thing for you. Keep pushing through, for me, for all of us. And you don’t even know how excited the twins are that you moved here! My goodness! They haven’t stopped talking about it! I’m going to let you get back to your book, but please think about what I said, ok?”

            “Thank you,”

            Anna just nodded a sort of silent agreement and exited the room, leaving Castiel to himself.

            _Alone at last._

            That night, Castiel dreamed. He dreamed well for the first time in a long time. He dreamed of happy times, of family, of good people surrounding him. He dreamed of Anael and Hael and the two opening birthday presents. He dreamed of renovating and redecorating “Heaven’s Gates” with Gabe. He dreamed of Anna cooking Christmas thanksgiving supper for the family. He dreamed of Balthazar coming for a visit.

            Castiel even dared to dream that he might find someone to stay by his side, maybe for just a little while longer than the last one did. Of someone that might even last the rest of Castiel’s miserable and meager life.

            **Castiel dreamed that he was happy.**

* * *

 


	2. Just some friendly banter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean spend quite a time flirting and eventually make a bet.

It was Sunday, so the early morning Church goers were piling into “Heaven’s Gates”. There were orders, one after another, and it was putting a lot of stress on both Gabriel and Cas.

            “2 lattes and 1 hot chocolate!” Cas called to Gabriel, ringing up the three orders.

            “We have to get Charlie and Becky back here!” Cas shouted through the noisy coffee shop. Gabriel merely nodded and tossed Cas his phone to text the two absent girls. Once that problem was settled, it would be much easier to manage the late morning discord, and luckily for Cas, three families were in the process of leaving.

            “Hey klutz, fancy seeing you here,”

            Castiel glanced up from the phone after hearing the familiar voice. “Oh, hello Dean. Welcome back. What can I get for you today?” Again, the blue-eyed man turned a very deep shade of red and forced his best smile.

            “Hot chocolate, nothing fancy. And try not to spill it,” Dean chuckled.

            Cas nodded and typed the order quickly into the cash register. “$3.29, and by the way that was Gabriel,”

            “I know, I just need something to talk about and maybe give you a break for a few seconds. You’re sweating like crazy, man.” Dean whispered, smiling.

            Cas returned the happy gesture and handed Dean his change back, “Go wait for your drink; I can manage myself.” _Oh my god. Was that too harsh?_ But, Dean laughed and walked toward the to-go counter to pick up his drink from Gabe, much to Cas’s relief. Castiel glanced toward his brother and saw Gabriel and Dean exchanging a few words. Dean turned, saw Cas staring, and winked.

            Castiel’s head swiveled around quickly, back to the cash register, and just in time to see both Charlie and Becky walking through the front door. Both were yawning, and both hadn’t even put their contacts in. Their arrival came a little too late though, most of the rush was settling down.

            “I better be getting paid for this, asshat!” Becky yelled in Gabriel’s general direction.

            Castiel laughed and handed her an apron.

            “This is too early for anything on a Sunday. How do people even go to church?”

            “Becky, it’s 11:30. It’s almost lunchtime.”

            “Yeah, Cas. Way too early.” She protested, waving her hands in the air.

            Seeing that Becky was set at the cash register, Castiel decided to take a small break and clean up the shop. He grabbed a bucket and slowly began clearing off the empty coffee cups and pastry plates from the few empty booths and tables and then doubled back to clean the occupied ones. This was not definitely not something that he wanted to do for the rest of his life. _Maybe I should reconsider that high school job again,_ he decided.

            After clearing several of the tables, he arrived at the small, and occupied booth in the corner.

            “Welcome back, Romeo. Glad you came to visit.”

            It was Dean. He was comfortably seated in the red plastic, smirking up at the blue-eyed man. His drink was in one hand and he had several papers lain across the table, as well as several pens of all different colors. The green-eyed man even had topped the whole “artsy” look off with some very rectangular shaped, and large, pair of glasses.

            _It’s ok, Cas. He’s just a guy. Nothing to worry about because you know exactly how to flirt even though—fuck those glasses._

            “You stalking me or something?” Cas asked, returning the smirk. _Please tell me that didn’t sound stupid…_

            Dean laughed. _God, that laugh was beautiful._ “So what if I am? Maybe I just want to see you?”

            “You don’t need to stalk me for that,” Cas chuckled, “You could just ask me…”

            “But that would be too easy.”

            “Oh so you think I’d be easy?” Cas questioned, raising an eyebrow.

            Now it was Dean’s turn to blush but, true to his character, Dean didn’t even bat an eyelash. “For me, yes. One word and I’d have you kneeling and begging for my number,”

            “Is that so?” Cas asked, picking up an empty pastry dish and slowly placing it in the bin.

            “Absolutely,” Dean whispered, all the while scooting closer to Castiel until they were inches apart and Dean had to look up into the ice-blue eyes, “On your knees. Begging. I wouldn’t even need to try.”

            For a second, Dean glanced at Cas’s lips. But, Castiel could not let him get away with anything this quickly. For fuck’s sake, it had only been a day. So instead, Castiel pulled away and smiled at the man, “Well, I guess you’re going to have to try a little bit. I already told you,” Cas said, starting to walk away, “I ain’t easy.

            “Wait!” Dean called.

            Cas turned around to face the corner booth, “Twenty bucks says you’ll make the first move.”

            The coffee shop employee nodded before agreeing with the terms, and continued on.

            Castiel could feel Dean’s eyes following him as he walked back to the kitchen. Gabriel was giggling and gave Cas a thumbs-up when he passed by his brother. Castiel could only smile. Dean, Castiel guessed, was used to getting everything easily. _I mean how could he not, he was fucking gorgeous!_ But, Cas was not going to give him anything without a price and he could sure as hell guarantee that there would be a chase.

 

 

            “Cas, he’s been here every morning this week. Aren’t you going to do something? What is so important about this damn bet! I’m about as sexually frustrated as you are by now Oh my god.” Gabriel said to his brother.

            Castiel just smiled and shook his head, glancing over at a very tired looking, Dean who was sitting in his usual corner booth. The other man looked up for a few seconds, attempting to read Cas’s face but looked down quickly in frustration. Castiel had Dean wrapped around his finger and was positive he was going to win the bet.

            All this week, there had been constant flirting, mostly banter between the two men. One had always come closer to winning than the other and this had pushed both of them over the edge. Dean more than usual as this was probably something fairly new to him. But, Cas knew he was going to win and was determined to succeed.

            “At least go bring him a free hot chocolate! You’re torturing the poor guy!”

            Castiel sighed and let Gabriel fix a plain hot chocolate. (which Cas truly did not understand why Dean could drink such a boring drink) Cas carried the drink across the store and down on the table, careful to avoid the papers that lay strewn across the entire circumference of the unnecessarily large table.

            “At the request of Gabe, I come bearing gifts.”

            Dean looked up and smiled a toothless smile. “Thank you man.  I need it.”

            Dean took the cup appreciatively and grasping it with two hands, raised it to his lips. The following groan from the man’s mouth was way too erotic of a noise for food. Castiel gulped and instead chose to focus on what Dean was working on.         

            “What’s with all the papers?” the raven-haired man asked.

            “I’m a writer. This is hopefully going to be my second published work but it’s not coming along too well.”

            “Why not?” Cas asked, pursing his lips into a tiny pout.

            Dean chuckled. “I can’t get any work done here because you’re too damn distracting.”

            “So then why don’t you work elsewhere?”

            “Because I couldn’t bear to be anywhere else. I have too much fun winning a bet here.”

            Cas’s smile turned to a frown at the last part. “Don’t be so quick to decide, Dean. It’s not over ya know?”

            Castiel walked away from the booth, pleased with himself. He made sure to swing his hips a bit more, hoping that Dean would be watching. He had even worn tight jeans to work that day, in order to possibly get a date and even $20.

            An hour later, Dean left the store waving a quick goodbye, and being the last employee in the store, Castiel closed up. He cleaned the last few tables, picking up some tips on the way around the store. At last he came to Dean’s corner booth.

            Peeking out from under the sugar containers was a $20 bill with a very neatly written “Dean Winchester” and a phone number following it. He pocketed the $20 smiling and noticed a small white note.

            “Fine. You won. Ball’s in your court now.”

            Castiel felt even more pleased with himself as he placed the paper gently into his pocket with the $20 and walked towards the apartment stairs. He turned on his heels, giving the coffee shop one last smiling overview, and flicked the lights off as he walked upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support that I've gotten :) Again, this is my first fanfic so any advice is welcome!


	3. Appetite for Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel takes Dean up on his offer and calls him. They make plans for the next day and Cas has a very painful flashback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the response that I've gotten so far! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter and expect even better one's to come!

             Castiel glanced at the number for the third time that hour and sighed. Why had he been so forward yesterday? Now he actually had to _DO_ something. It was a very scary feeling. _And_ it’s not like he was too busy to actually make a move; he had all of Monday off so there was no valid excuse. _Why am I being such a girl?_ Cas questioned himself. He stared down at his phone and reluctantly made the motion to pick it up but drew his hand back in, rubbing it together with the other hand. He was sweating, a lot.

           

            “Come on, Cas,” he mumbled. He ran his hands through his hair and pinched the bridge of his nose. He then tentatively picked up the generally unused cell phone. His clammy fingers shook as he dialed the number left on the $20 bill. It had been a long time since he’d done this and an even longer time since Cas had even had a relationship. His last boyfriend, Alan, and he, had ended on surprisingly good terms for having been together as long as they had. But, Castiel wanted commitment that Alan couldn’t give. The boy had been too young, too wild. Was still experimenting, not with his sexuality but rather several things that Castiel was NOT comfortable with in the bedroom. And after his last experience, Castiel didn’t think he could trust anyone sexually. Or anyone in general for that matter. His recovery had been a long and trying experience and he wasn’t ready to share it with anyone besides Gabriel, just yet.

            “ _Hello?”_ Castiel’s heart jumped when heard Dean’s gruff voice on the other line. _It was 11:00 on a Monday? Had the man just woken up?_

“Oh yes, Dean! It’s Cas!” _Dammit, was that too eager?_

_“Come to gloat?”_

            Castiel smiled and chuckled, “No, but you don’t have to be a sore loser Mister. I told you that I’m not easy nor, am I easy to beat!”

            He could hear Dean laugh on the other end of the line. Castiel was familiar with that laugh, and he could picture it well. It was the one Dean laughed when he would throw his head back and place a gentle hand on his stomach; his eyes would light up and there was a faint glimmer of sadness in the corners, almost as if Dean didn’t believe he deserved to laugh and be happy. Cas enjoyed this laugh and the little questions that picked at Castiel’s brain because of it. The boisterous noise brought a smile to his own face and a glimmer in his bright, blue eyes. _“I figured. Now, there’s some business to attend to, isn’t there Cas?”_

Castiel smiled, “That depends, when are you free?”

            _“I was expecting something a little bit more formal. I mean, I am a lady who deserves proper treatment, Mr. Castiel.”_

            “Well then, Ms. Winchester,” he heard a laugh and a curse word on the other end, which made his smile even wider, “Would you be ever so kind as to join me for an evening of home cooking at my apartment?”

            _“It would be my pleasure, Castiel.”_

“Is tomorrow good? Say, 6:00?”

            _“It’s perfect. I’ve finally got a day off and it just so happens to be soon.”_

Castiel let out a shaky laugh, relieved, and his mouth formed a small grin, “Would you like me to pick you up then or do you want to come over yourself?”

            _“I think I can manage. You live above the coffee shop, right?”_

Cas nodded before blushing when he realized that Dean couldn’t see his movements, and then murmured a happy ‘yes’ into the phone.

            _“well…see you tomorrow!”_

“Goodbye, Dean.”

            Castiel hung up the phone and put it down on the table next to him. He breathed heavily and lay down on the couch for a moment of rest.

           

* * *

 

_The dark room around him had been closing in tighter and tighter since Castiel had been taken here. His legs had fallen asleep long ago as they hung off the rickety chair; his head had given way and submerged itself in pain right after them. The rope around his hands had dug so far into his wrists that he was sure he was bleeding, but the pain distracted him from the dark, which distracted him from his current condition and location. Castiel believed he had been asleep for some time, but he was too discombobulated to assess his situation any further. Had he been here for minutes? Hours? Days? Castiel did not know. The once strong, man had been reduced to nothing, as all of time and pain ran together into a bloody ball of chaos sitting in a chair._

_“Why hello, there.”_

_Castiel glanced up but he could not differentiate between the man responsible for the voice, and the emptiness around him. He felt cold metal press to the soft flesh of his cheekbone and the point on the end of the knife quickly followed. The weapon drew down his face, cutting a thin but painful line in the skin. It was enough to draw blood and along with it, a sharp breath from Castiel._

_“You’re my bitch now, aren’t you?”_

_Castiel closed his eyes and breathed in, sucking his stomach in. Then he began to pray._

 

* * *

 

 

            He shot up with his head doing an almost 360 before Castiel lay back down again. This had been his first nightmare in weeks and he had no idea what triggered it and he wondered what could have halted his recovery process so suddenly. He slid his hand down from the top of his forehead to his chin, before settling the hand on his chest. His sweat had soaked the pillow and the leather coach cushions were slick. His shirt was in worse condition, but that was not uncommon for these dreams. Castiel peeled the cotton v-neck off and tossed it across the room and attempted to sit up slowly. His phone had landed on the floor sometime during his restless sleep. Cas picked it up, clicking the home button to check the time.

            _8:13 a.m._

            20 hours. He slept for twenty hours. Gabe would’ve been at the shop by now, already have been opened for 2 hours and he was probably expecting Castiel to have already arrived. Cas groaned and began the process of moving his ass away from the comfortable leather couch. He slowly walked to his room and got dressed and ready to work. He made a mental note to look up some therapists in the area, which he had been meaning to do since the last in Lawrence didn’t quite work out, judging from the last nightmare. Grabbing the blue apron, Castiel headed downstairs for another day of work.

* * *

 

         

             Castiel ran upstairs as soon as his last shift was over, he had to start cooking and getting ready. There was just so much to do! He decided first to do the cooking and then get ready. He shouldn’t have to put too much effort into making the spaghetti but Cas wanted it perfect. There was just something about Dean that made the blue-eyed man feel extremely eager to please, and both of them knew it too. Cas pulled all the ingredients out for the sauce and began to heat it in a pan. He started the meat in another and would begin boiling the pasta when the sauce was finished. 

            An hour later, Castiel had completed the meal and everything was to his liking. He covered the food in foil and then placed it in the oven in order to preserve the heat. Cas wiped his hands on his apron, satisfied with his work and continued onto his room. He opened the chest of drawers in order to find suitable attire for the evening but to his disappointment, he realized that he had no idea what Dean would appreciate.

            “Hey sporto, how’s it going?”

            “I need your help,” Castiel said reluctantly.

            Gabe smirked, “You had to come to me for dating advice someday, baby brother. Only thing is that Balthy is more of the excerpt in clothing, but I can try. First off, keep the jeans and then I’ll see what I can do.”

            The older Novak reached into the top drawer and pulled out a simple tee with the Guns n’ Roses “Appetite for Destruction” cover plastered on the front. It was Castiel’s favorite album and although he didn’t look much like a classic rock fan, it was his favorite genre.

            “That will do nicely,” Gabriel chuckled and tossed the shirt at Cas.

            “Are you sure? I don’t want to be too informal…”

            “I’m positive, stud. Go get ‘em.”

            Gabe got up and walked out of Castiel’s room leaving Cas to finish getting ready.

 

            He put on the shirt and got up to check and make sure he looked decent. His hair was a bit wild, but it didn’t look too horrible and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to tame it anyway. He turned around and exited the bathroom, just in time too. The doorbell rang and brought a broad grin to Cas’s face.

 

**Finally.**


	4. All we need is just a little Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean have their first date. It starts awkwardly and then progresses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the huge long delay. I've been super busy and even more than that, horrible writer's block. I also apologize for the rough beginning to this chapter but I think that the ending will please you.

Castiel took a deep breath and sat up from the chair. He walked over to the door and opened it quietly. He was greeted with a warm smile and an even warmer hug. The smell of Dean engulfed him; Warm leather and pen ink. Dean snaked his arms around Castiel and then glided down to his lower back. The two men stayed together for a few seconds before Dean broke the moment. Castiel’s hands lingered on Dean’s lower back for a few seconds before realizing that the hug was “over”.  Cas blushed and looked towards the ground, he couldn’t see that Dean was blushing too.

            “Sorry. I’m a hugger,” Dean said sheepishly.

            “Seriously? It’s perfectly fine,”

            Dean chuckled and Castiel finally looked up.

            “So uhh, you wanna come in now?”

            “Yes, yes of course!”

            _Man this is awkward._ Obviously neither of the men had done this in a really long time.

            Castiel stepped out of the doorway to let Dean in to the apartment. He slowly closed the door, glancing at Dean who was surveying the area.

            “Nice place you got here,”

            “It’s not mine, just Gabriel’s. Mine would look totally different,” Cas remarked on the style. Gabriel had a very homey and “man-cave” feel as the blonde man had so often described it. If Castiel had the option, he would add a more modern touch to the leather and wood that flooded the living quarters. He would also remove the embarrassing Drake and Lil Wayne posters that hung affectionately from the wall above the TV. It just wasn’t his style.

            Dean smirked and nodded, “So…”

            “Oh right! I made dinner,”

            “My kinda guy!”

            Castiel grinned and walked toward the kitchen. “Sit on the barstool and I’ll get some dinner for you. I’m sorry this is so informal. I’ve been really stressed this week and I just wanted to chill tonight. Are paper plates ok?” he asked, serving two plates full.

            Dean nodded, “I understand. It’s been a hectic week.” Dean grabbed a plate from Castiel’s hands and dug in.

            Castiel sat next to Dean with his own plate of spaghetti, “So umm, what kind of stuff do you write?”

            Dean finished a bite and then smiled. “Science fiction mostly but I have dabbled in a little bit of realistic fiction. I write all for young adults though,”

            “Novels or…”

            “I’ve anywhere from short stories in magazines to novels to assisting the writers of big TV shows. It just depends on what I can get paid for,”

            “So why have I never heard anything about some famous man named ‘Dean Winchester’?”

“Pseudonym.” Dean said, chuckling through a mouth full of food.

            “You going to tell me what it is?”

            “Hint: pseudonym, Castiel.”

            Cas laughed, “Ok, ok. But you’re going to have to tell me at some point.”

            Dean’s laugh harmonized with Castiel’s as they continued to eat. They made small talk as they ate and the awkwardness increased.

            _This is definitely not going well._ Castiel thought to himself.

            He cleaned up the messy countertop and -----

            “Holy shit, this is a nice record player man!”

            Cas turned around to face Dean and look at what he was even talking about. Dean was wide-eyed in front of Gabe’s Crosley record player that Cas had gotten him for Christmas last year.

            “Oh yeah. That’s Gabe’s. His in to all that weird hipster shit,” Cas said, wiping his hands on his jeans.

            “Well, it’s fucking awesome. Where are the records man?”

            Castiel walked over to Dean. The record player had been placed on a pedestal right next to the TV. Under the record player were the cleaning supplies that “Castiel was not allowed to use on the record player under any circumstances for fear that he might fuck it up.” Above the player, however, there was a dark wooden cabinet built into the wall. Cas reached up and opened it. Inside there was an array of various vinyl records, ranging anywhere from Marvin Gaye to the most recent Justin Timberlake album. He heard Dean suck in his breath and whisper a quiet ‘wow’.

            Cas giggled but quickly went to cover his mouth when Dean shot him a disapproving look. This only made Castiel laugh even louder, earning a slight smile from Dean. Cas couldn’t help but watch the other man run his fingers over the records, both worn and new. The lines that identified his knuckles analyzed each title before stopping over one. His eyes flashed and Dean gently pulled the album out from the cabinet. Castiel’s vision settled on the title and a satisfying smile crept over his face.

            “Guns n’ Roses. Nice choice.”

            Dean nodded and began to open the covering with wonder. He carefully pulled out the record and blew on it, attempting to rid the vinyl of the dust. Cas helped him open the player and taught Dean how to set it up. (Even if Cas wasn’t supposed to touch the thing, he couldn’t resist the vintage sound of classic rock and learning how to use the thing.) All was done in silence, as if to preserve the moment exactly the way it was. A silent movie. When the record was in place, Dean glanced at Castiel questionably.

            Castiel grinned, looking back up at Dean. His hand covered Dean’s and guided the needle on to the record. When the needle touched down, Castiel heard the familiar _Click_ and soon after the beginning of the song.

            _Shed a tear cuz’ I’m missing you_

_I’m still alright to smile_

“May I have this dance?”

            Cas looked over at Dean who had gravitated about 4 feet away and was now bowing with one had out towards him.

            “It would be my pleasure,” Castiel extended his hand and grasped onto Dean’s. Dean’s hand was much larger than Cas’s and rougher as well. It was warm (and a bit sweaty) but it felt nice as it connected with Castiel’s. Their fingers intertwined, fitting perfectly like puzzle pieces. Dean’s right arm wrapped around Cas’s waist and his hand moved to his lower back and Cas’s left hand landed on Dean’s right shoulder. Their other arms angled out to form a normal, ballroom dancing position. They slowly began to sway, gaining a feel for the music.

 _sit here on the stairs_  
'Cause I'd rather be alone  
If I can't have you right now  
I'll wait, dear  
Sometimes I get so tense  
But I can't speed up the time  
But you know, love. We’ve got what it takes to make it.

The two leaned in towards each other, the shorter pressing his head into the taller’s chest and the taller leaning his head on the shorter’s. They moved together in an awkward and yet fluid dance. As if speaking the same, silent language, they followed each other’s mannerisms to a T.

            Oh yeah. Cas could get used to this. 


	5. A Teaspoon of Bad and a Teaspoon of Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas remember the good times of their teenage years and Castiel has another flashback of his past captivity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY ABOUT HOW LONG IT'S TAKEN ME TO PUBLISH THIS AND I'M SO SORRY IT'S SO SHORT. I've had major writer's block and so much I've been doing lately, it's crazy. 
> 
> I love you guys and I'm sorry about the crapiness.

            

Cas pressed into Dean, feeling the warmth of the other man's chest. The two became one as they moved. This was easy. For Castiel and Dean, they felt as old dance partners, like they had been doing this forever. The Melodies of the Guns n' Roses album drifted through their ears and reminded them of better times.

    Cas thought of his early teens. When he would sit alone in his room. He aspired to be a singer but at the same time knew that the dream would not last. Partially because it wasn’t expected of him and partially because he couldn't fucking sing. It didn't stop him, however, from blasting anything from N'Sync to Bowling for Soup and back to Guns n' Roses. He would perform for himself and for his invisible audience, giving himself a standing ovation. At least someone approved of him. It was a common exercise for him when he was feeling depressed as he often enjoyed the comfort that came from scarce admiration.  

          Dean thought of his sophomore year of high school, when he learned to drive. His father had bought him his precious Baby, the '67 Impala that he had grown so fond of. And through all its trouble, the damn thing was still running. He daydreamed of driving with "Welcome to the Jungle" vibrating the speakers and shaking the metal of the impala. He remembered making out with whatever willing party in the backseat on the beach after a bonfire and lots of booze. He loved those carefree times and remembered them fondly. There was no responsibility, no work, and certainly there was no real heartbreak for the heartbreaker.

          It was refreshing for both the men, to think back on the good memories. To enjoy something again, to feel something again, even if it only lasted a short while. It was blissful, until Castiel’s legs gave out and his eyes grew wide.

    "Oh my god, Cas? Cas? Dude? Are you ok?" Dean tried desperately to support the man as he hauled Cas over to the couch. Castiel was fighting him, clawing at him. His eyes shot open as he continued to fight and scream at Dean. He called him everything under the sun as Dean shoved him onto the brown fabric.

     “Cas? Bud, are you with me? Oh my god…! I’m calling Gabriel.”

     Castiel could not hear anything that Dean had said, nor could he hear as Dean’s footsteps hit the ground, running to grab the phone. _All he could see was that he was back in that dark room. He was forced back into the chair, his legs broken and his hands useless and bloody. He cursed his captor and spit at his boots. He winced at the pain that lashed at his back and nipped at the nape of his neck. His torturer grabbed his jaw and pulled it towards him examining every inch before pulling Castiel into a rough kiss. Obviously there was no love much less feeling. This was purely for the sadistic enjoyment of the man holding the whip._

_“Say it. Just say it and I’ll let you go,” he whispered, the poisonous words spilling into Cas’s ear. Castiel just shook his head slowly, blue eyes connecting with his captor’s with what little strength he had left._

_“Fine then, more fun for me,”_

_Castiel inhaled sharply, and released the breath quickly as pain coursed through his ribcage. He didn’t know much longer he could last and frankly, he wasn’t sure how long he really wanted to. It was quiet for a bit until he heard the first lash on his back, cracking his skin and slicking blood all over his back. He needed this to end._

“Gabriel? You gotta come quick! Something’s wrong with Cas, I don’t know what though. He’s freaking out and keeps calling me ‘Skull’.”

     “Dean, oh my god. Hang on. I’ll be over in ten. He’s just having a flashback. Leave him on the couch and talk to him. Explain to him where he is in every little possible detail; he needs to be aware of his surroundings. Tell him you’re there and tell him to breathe. I will be there as soon as I possibly can. Holy shit---“

     The Winchester didn’t hear anything after that. He dropped the phone to the tile floor and bounded to the nearby couch. There, Castiel was thrashing and fighting, yelling something about the whip and ‘Skull’ and the darkness. His words blurred together, a mass of fear pouring from his mouth. Dean did not sit, but rather kneeled in front of Cas, grasping Castiel’s knees.

     “Cas, it’s me, it’s Dean. I’m here! You’re at your apartment in Lawrence, KS. We were dancing in the living room! You are not back there; you are here in Lawrence.” Dean continued talking about his surroundings until he realized Cas had stopped yelling. His breathing had calmed and no longer was he fighting Dean’s touch.

     “Dean? Dean! Is everything alright? He didn’t hurt himself or you, did he?”

     Dean shook his head as Gabriel entered the room, sitting next to Castiel on the couch. “He’s calmed down.”

     Gabriel showed a relieved smile as he placed a gentle hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “Hey, man. I’m home. I’m here.” Cas glanced to his older brother, evening out his breath. Then, he turned to Dean, placing a hand on the Winchester’s.

     “Thank you, Dean,” he whispered thankfully and drifted off into a much needed sleep. 


	6. The Outsiders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is recovering and Dean comes by to check in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I experimented a bit with the Points of View so I'm hoping that y'all like it! Also if you want to follow me on tumblr, It's teamfreehello.tumblr.com!

“Is he going to be all right?” Dean asked, nodding towards a sleeping Castiel.

            Dean had already gathered his coat, keys, and phone after helping tuck Cas into the makeshift bed that he and Gabriel had made on the couch. He figured it best that he leave in order to give the brothers some rest.

            “He’ll be okay. He just hasn’t been the same since it happened,” Gabriel sighed, “No matter how much therapy and counseling and love we give him, he just doesn’t get any better. I don’t know what to do anymore!” Gabriel began to sob, his tears silent but obvious to the other man. Dean leaned in to hold and comfort the other brother but Gabe pushed him away, carefully wiping at his cheeks to clean off the leaking emotions.  

            “This isn’t your problem. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this,” Gabriel said, sitting down by the counter and Dean soon joining him, “but all I ask is that if you’re too scared to handle this, let him down gently. The man has been through enough.” Gabriel’s hand gestures were frantic and his eyes bloodshot. The anxiety was practically reeking off of him.

            Dean scrunched his eyebrows in question, “Why would I be scared off?”

            “Most people are. They see it as a burden on themselves. Most don’t understand how strong Cas is. He can handle everything, I’ve seen him do it. He just needs… I dunno… a little push once in a while.” Both men glanced towards the couch, a look of pity on Gabriel’s face and a look of love on Dean’s.

             “Gabriel, I’m not going anywhere. I can promise you that. But, I would like to ask one question,” Gabriel nodded at Dean to continue, “What exactly happened?”

             At this, Gabriel’s face fell. He glanced at his feet as they rubbed back and forth along the barstool. “I don’t know if Cas would feel comfortable if I shared this information with you. I would prefer if Cas told you or if you’re really curious, that you looked it up on your own..”

             Dean understood, giving Gabriel an appreciative glanced as he excused himself. He said goodbye to Gabe and made his way over to the couch. “I’ll see you soon, Cas,” he whispered, kissing Cas on the forehead and smoothing his hair down. Castiel gave a faint smile in his sleep that made Dean chuckle to himself.

             “Thank you, Gabriel. I should head out now. See you tomorrow. I’ll be by the shop to check on Cas,”

             “No, Dean, thank you. And I’m sure Cas will be very happy to see you,” Gabriel gave a sad smile as he let Dean out. Closing the door softly, he made his way over to his sleeping brother. “C’mon lil bro. Let’s get you too bed,”

              With a heave he managed to get Cas into his arms and through the doorway of Gabriel’s own bedroom, Gabe had the best bed in the apartment. He gently laid Cas down on the mattress and covered him with several layers of blankets, ensuring that he would be comfortable. He was about to leave the room when a noise from the bed convinced him to turn around.

              “Gabe,”

              “Yeah kiddo?”

              “Thank you..”

              “You’re welcome. Now get some sleep bud.”

              Gabriel closed the door and took a deep breath before going to lie down on the couch. “Can’t let this bed go to waste,” he sighed before finally going to sleep.

 

* * *

 

            Dean walked into the coffee shop, the familiar bell jingling overhead. The smell of coffee beans and windex from the freshly cleaned tables drifted past his nose. He smiled when he made eye contact with Gabriel who gave him a small wave before attending to another customer who was desperately trying to get Gabe to remake the coffee. Dean wished he could stay and watch this fiasco but he had more important business to deal with.

            His leather-covered arm opened the door to the small apartment above the shop, glancing around. Seeing no one, he called out, receiving a quiet response from the bedroom next to the kitchen. He walked to the bedroom and opened the door.

            Castiel was wrapped in multiple blankets with very eccentric patterns. A baby blue one wrapped around his head and several others forming a mountain around the rest of his body. He had made himself a little hole between the train blanket and neon green one, in order to slip a book through. His vision was zoned on his newest read, or what looked to be an old favorite from the condition of the book, _The Outsiders._ The sight was enough to make Dean giggle and it was in that moment that Cas finally glanced up.

            “What?” he asked.

            “Oh..nothing…just the fact that you look like a hermit,”

            “I do not look like a hermit, Dean Winchester!”

            Dean laughed loudly before making his way over to the bed. “It’s ok. You’re a very cute hermit,”

            “I am not cute,” Cas protested, but his blushing face gave him away. He marked his place and put the book on the nightstand.

            “You know..you really are,” Dean chuckled, watching Cas take the blanket off from his head, his face still a tomato red.

            Castiel only responded with an embarrassed laugh, patting the bed for Dean to join him. Happily, he obliged, removing his jacket and letting it fall to the floor.

            “You wanna watch a movie? Gabe has a pretty extensive collection,” Cas mumbled, barely audible to Dean.

            “Only if you share those blankets.”

            Cas tossed the train blanket in his face before getting up to pick a movie. Dean cracked up before pulling it off his head and smoothing it over his legs.

 

* * *

 

 

“How can you not have seen the movie? By the looks of that book, you’d be the first I’d expect to have seen it!” Dean was aghast! Castiel had never seen the Outsiders movie! It was a travesty to say the least. “But everyone is in that movie! Tom Cruise, Emilio Estevez, hell, even Patrick Swayze is in it!”

“I guess I just never wanted to ruin the book,” Castiel shrugged, “Those movies never turn out well.” The two men were now facing each other, legs crisscrossed and eyes connected. Most of the blankets had been shed save for a dark, burgundy one that they were sharing.

“This one did! My god! It’s such a good movie, you have to see it!”

“You find it for me, and we’ll see,” Cas suggested.

Dean’s hands found his way to his head and he slowly slid his fingers down the bridge of his nose, “I’m the author, the book nerd and yet, I am the one who has seen the movie of your favorite book. I’m gonna cry. That’s it, I can’t”

Cas howled with laughter at Dean’s exaggeration and broad hand gestures.

“Hey! Why are you laughing at me?” Dean reached out and playfully slapped Castiel on the arm, making Cas laugh even harder. Falling back on to the pillow and rolling over with his hands gripping his stomach.

“It’s not funny, Cas!” Dean tried hard to pretend to be upset but Cas’s smile was contagious and Dean could only join in.

“It’s pretty damn funny, Dean!” he continued laughing until he felt two hands on either side of his waist. “Wait, Dean, what, no!” his laughter turned into whooping laughter as Dean’s hands tickled every inch of the man’s sides.

“Say you’re sorry, Cas, and then I’ll stop!”

“Ok, ok! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Cas managed to squeeze out.

At that, Dean removed his hands from Cas’s sides and towards his arms, pinning the raven-haired man’s forearms to the mattress. Straddling him, their eyes connecting, blue on green. Both were breathing heavily as their laughter finally died down but smiles still remained on their faces.

“So…”

“So…”

“Oh my god, Dean! Just fucking kiss me!” Cas shouted. 

And Dean didn’t need anything more.


	7. These Battle Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean finally share a moment of intimacy but Castiel is still reluctant to share his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been awhile! Thank you for your kind words however! If your still interested in following me on tumblr, I'd really appreciate it and if you tell me you're reading this, I'll follow you back! @ teamfreehello.tumblr.com! Thank you so much and happy reading! -Bryan

Dean latched his lips onto Castiel’s. They were dry from the winter weather, cracked, and yet still somehow warm and inviting; Dean worshipped every crevice. Castiel, however, could taste the thin layer of cherry chapstick that built on Dean’s softer and pinker lips. Their synchronized movements were fervent and impatient, filled with Dean’s desire and Castiel’s desperation. They could feel each other smile at the first contact, only encouraging it to continue. Castiel was shy, eager to seek other options but relishing in the chasteness of the kiss. Dean seemed to understand, as he waited until he could no longer stand his restlessness to place a small bite on Castiel’s bottom lip, begging for entrance. Castiel hesitantly obliged, scared of not fully being able to compete with his partner. But Dean was intuitive and sensed his anxiety, guiding Cas’s head with his left hand. The encouraging gesture was more than enough for Castiel,

Hands roamed and explored, Cas tracing every muscle that curved and dipped in Dean’s arms and Dean chasing the rutting movements of Castiel’s hips with one hand, supporting himself with the other.

Dean’s grip loosened on the bed sheets, however,  and his forehead collided with Cas’s. Dean turned a deep shade of crimson, lips torn from their previous location. But, Castiel only laughed, rolling them over so he was on top and in control.

Dean thrust his callused hands into the raven colored hair and pulling ever so lightly on the messy locks, Cas groaning at the contact. Dean smiled into the kiss, making Cas deepen it even more. Tongue explored other tongue and lips explored other lips, the classic dance performed in perfect harmony. Dean thrust up against Cas and his jeans began to grow tight and his legs tangled into the piles of blankets around them. One blanket pulling out from under Cas, causing the two to lose their rhythm and again, their foreheads connected, this time in a more painful way.

“We’re not very good at this are we?” Castiel asked, chuckling, once more on his back, under Dean.

“I thought we were doing pretty damn well,” Dean expressed, rubbing his forehead and supporting himself above Cas.

“I quite enjoyed it too..ya know…until the whole clashing part..” Cas grinned.

“I like the way your lips feel,” Dean whispered, kissing slowly down Cas’s neck. “They’re nice. Rough from the cold, yet soft, the perfect medium,” he continued, his mouth tracing a line down the other man’s collar bone and hands slowly working off the white V-neck that Castiel was wearing.

“Spoken like a..a..a true writer,” Cas spluttered out as Dean hit his sweet spot, just below the clavicle. Dean smiled, realizing the effect on Cas, and sucked, just enough to leave a small love bite.

“Hey! Careful there, wouldn’t want Gabriel to see!” Cas murmured, breathless.

“Actually,” Dean planted another kiss on Castiel’s chest, “I’d..love..for Gabriel…to see. Show that…sonuvabitch…that you aren’t a total hermit,”

“Hey!” Castiel shouted, howling with laughter. He pushed Dean off of him and down onto his back, “I’m not a hermit. I’d thought we’ve gotten over trying to label me, Dean Winchester.” He straddled Dean, glad to be back in control, and began to recreate Dean’s actions. He kissed the writer, beginning with the corner of his mouth and down towards his collar bone. Sliding down so that he was flat on top of Dean and his mouth even with the man’s stomach, his nimble fingers inched the gray under shirt up and lips following casually behind.

Dean gasped as Castiel’s crotch made contact with his own, further increasing the tightness that plagued his jeans. Castiel laughed at Dean’s reaction, sitting up so that he was once again sitting on Dean, a leg on either side of his hip bones.

“You laughin’ at me?” Dean questioned, his best faux pout decorating his face.

“Laughin’ at what? That ugly mug of yours or the fact that bad boy, sarcastic Winchester has a submissive side?” This earned Castiel a playful slap and a curse, only causing him to chuckle harder.

“You seemed to enjoy my face only moments earlier,” Dean whispered. His attention was elsewhere though; he had found a new interest.

His fingertips lightly grazed Castiel’s chest, as if he feared breaking Cas’s ribs. His hands admired the indentations and the scars that were littered here and there, white marks as light as snowflakes.

Castiel became self-conscious as he suddenly realized that, other than Gabriel, no other had seen him with his scars. He attempted to cover his chest with this arms, but Dean carefully lifted them off his bare torso and gently placed them by Cas’s sides, continuing to outline the marks that dusted the olive skin.

“Dean, please,” Cas begged. He did not wish for anyone to see him like this and was starting to regret his decision of allowing Dean into his bed. In the rush of passion, he had forgotten about everything and was not careful enough about concealing his past. But, Dean only shushed him. A salty tear trailed down Cas’s cheek, and shattered on Dean’s chest. That bright pair of green eyes looked up, a hand still pressing on Castiel’s tan chest.

“They’re beautiful, Cas. Absolutely and positively beautiful,” he whispered, pulling Castiel closer to him so that he could get better access. He pressed lingering kisses to each scar and as he did so, a small smile crossed over Castiel’s face. But Castiel in his mind, understood that it could not be

“Dean?”

“Yes?” Dean paused and glanced up.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered weakly, looking towards his lap.

“For what, may I ask?” Dean was taken aback. For what could he possibly be sorry about?

“I don’t want to be a burden. I understand if you want to leave right now and never look back. You wouldn’t be the first. I just..”

“No. Cas?” Dean said, gripping tightly to Castiel’s wrist to grab his attention, “Did you hear anything I just said? Honestly?”

Cas just nodded silently. “I heard,”

“Well then it’s time you believed it,” he answered, “C’mere.” Dean motioned and patted the bed next to him for Cas to lay down. Castiel acquiesced and sat up to face Dean.

“We haven’t known each other for very long at all, but there is some sort of connection here, obviously,” Dean said, continuing, “I want you to know that, right now, there is no chance of me abandoning you for any reason that I can control. Please know that.”

Dean pleaded, taking both Castiel’s hands in his and pulling them into his lap. Castiel looked up, finally acknowledging the other man’s eyes and smiling.

“Thank you,”

“Don’t mention it, Cas. Now how about you get some rest, huh?”

Castiel nodded but frowned when Dean began to get out of the bed. “Dean? Could you please…just stay here? At least for a little while?”

The corners of Dean’s mouth pulled upwards and he lay back down with Cas, one arm around the tan waist and legs intertwined. His face gently pressed into the black hair, placing a small kiss on the back of Cas’s skull.

“Sweet dreams, Cas,”

“Sweet dreams, Dean,”

**And the two drifted off into a warm sleep.**


	8. Hold My Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel goes through another flashback and finally explains to Dean what happened to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY GRAPHIC CHAPTER---DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS. ALSO THERE ARE SOME VERY DEROGATORY TERMS USED. (makes it more realistic so I'm sorry...) 
> 
> So we finally find about Cas's experience....!
> 
> (please don't hurt me for taking this long)

            _Blood poured from Cas’s broken nose, red rain shattering on the concrete below. The crimson puddles pooled around his bare feet, soaking them. He could feel the cold breeze on his exposed chest as the door opened in front of him, revealing his captor. The man had his usual mask on, concealing his face completely, and his bag of tools in his hands glinted in the light, a knife peeking from the top. Cas raised his head slightly, eyes squinting with the sudden sunlight. He had been alone with his thoughts for so long, all he could do was giggle when his captor walked in._

_“Is something funny?” Skull asked, pulling a small tool out of the black vinyl bag._

_Castiel shook his head, his smile quickly changing to a grimace from the pain in the back of his neck that the movement caused him. It was becoming too much to bear and quite frankly, he had no idea how much blood he had lost at this point or even how many hours, days, or weeks he had been locked in._

_Cool metal grazed his cheek, not pressing hard enough to draw blood, but just enough to get his point across._

_“So are you ready to say it?” Skull’s heavy voice asked._

_“Say what?”_

_“Do you really need reminding?”_

_“I don’t know, do I?”_

_“I guess you’re going to take some reminding.” The knife made a full cut across Cas’s shoulder blade, which was already dislocated. Castiel screeched at the first contact, feeling the wet blood flow down his chest. This was going to be a long round._

* * *

 

 

            On Dean’s end, all he could hear was Castiel groaning and screaming. Cas thrashed in the bed, kicking and scratching at anything and everything. Dean was trying everything. As soon as Castiel had made his first movement in bed, Dean was up and ready to help. He remembered everything Gabriel had told him from last time but it wasn’t working. He couldn’t reach Gabriel by phone no matter how hard he tried, so Dean just assumed he’d have to do it on his own.

            Dean removed all blankets and pillows that had surrounded the two men and was now working on trying to turn Cas around so that his head didn’t head the headboard.

            “It’s only a dream, Cas! Please wake up for me, baby c’mon!” he couldn’t bear to see Castiel like this, vulnerable and in pain. He just wished he knew what was happening and why it kept happening around him.

            “C’mon Cas! You’re here in Lawrence! Gabe’s apartment, I’ve got you, man. I’ve got you,” Dean pleaded with Cas, eyes tearing up by the second. He didn’t understand why he felt like this for a man he just met but he just knew that there was something so fucking strong there. It was such an unusual feeling too. So surreal to love someone this much, to feel this much pain in their place. He didn’t understand but he didn’t find it necessary to care.

            Dean’s arms held tight on to Castiel’s biceps as he calmed down. Finally Cas’s eyes opened and Dean smiled and laughed with utter relief.

            “Dean?” Cas whispered quietly.

            Dean nodded, placing his head in the crook of Cas’s neck. He pressed a soft kiss on the stubble-covered jawline, urging Cas’s breathing to slow. They stayed for a moment in silence as Castiel complied with Dean’s wishes. It seemed ages before they spoke.

            “I’m sorry, Dean. You shouldn’t have to endure this,”

            Dean merely rolled his eyes. “We’ve been over this, Cas. Do. Not. Apologize. For anything. I’m just glad you’re ok,”

            Castiel’s lips formed a small smile and he rolled over to face Dean. He took a deep breath before asking, “Do you want to know what happened?”

            “Only if you’re willing to tell me,” Dean reached out, grasping Cas’s hand for encouragement.  

            Castiel shook as he pushed himself up slowly, sitting criss cross facing Dean. Dean had one had on Cas’s arm helping him up and one hand on the mattress sitting up himself. When they were situated, Dean placed one hand on Cas’s and nodded, bringing a slight smile to the raven-haired man’s face. It seemed ages before he started, but Dean waited patiently. He understood, he really did.

            “I had a long walk from the school I was teaching at to the subway and I didn’t necessarily teach in the safest neighborhood. Besides, at dark, New York City isn’t the safest place anyway. One night I stayed late at the school to work on some stuff with another teacher and finish grading some tests. She had offered me a ride home since it was getting so late but I stubbornly refused. God if only I had taken it,” Castiel brought a blanket up, his body cowering underneath it, “I left and started walking. I made it about 5 blocks before someone came up behind me and shoved me against a building. There wasn’t anyone around and in that neighborhood, not likely anyone would get involved anyway. He pressed a knife to my neck….”

 

* * *

 

_“Hey faggot? Mind coming with me?”_

_Castiel couldn’t see the man who was holding him, his face covered in a mask. It was an ugly thing too, not something you could find at just any party city. It was fitted perfectly to his face, making it look like a giant skull with caved in eyes. Small, white horns peeked out from the back, adding to the effects._

_A gloved hand covered Cas’s mouth, preventing him from screaming and another hand pressed a small knife to his jugular. Castiel had half a mind to let the man kill him right there but his survival instincts prevailed and he just nodded._

_“Great. Let’s go.”_

         “He took me to a car and threw me in the trunk. It was too dark to see anything and I had dropped my briefcase back in the alleyway along with my phone. I didn’t struggle, I didn’t scream. I just sobbed. I don’t know why though, why I didn’t struggle that is. I guess I just had no idea what was going on and I don’t think I cared to know,” Castiel started to tear up again, eyes turning red and a few silent tears dripping down his cheeks and hitting the quilts. “Sorry,” he whispered. Dean only squeezed Cas’s hand until he regained his composure to continue.

“We drove for hours. I knew that by then we had to be pretty far outside of New York City but I had no idea that we would have been in a separate state. I guess I had fallen asleep or something and missed a lot of the trip. When we finally stopped, he blindfolded me and took me into what I thought was a basement, later learning was just a warehouse. The entire time all I could think about was why he took me. I wasn’t a child, so he wasn’t some sort of pedophile and so I just thought it was some sort of sick and twisted fantasy he had. And yet, I went along with everything. He took the blindfold off, stripped me down to my underwear, and chained me to a chair…”

* * *

 

            _“Nice and snug. Don’t you think?”_

_Castiel nodded, his eyes remained pointed towards the floor._

_“Look at me when I’m fucking talking to you!” the masked man snapped and brought his palm across Castiel’s cheek, striking it hard and fast. Castiel gasped in pain and looked up. He was desperate for some relief for the sting._

_Cas could feel the smile hidden behind the skull mask. One of satisfaction and haughtiness. Pride seared through the white covering and burned Castiel’s cheek through the form of a handprint._

_“I’ve been watching you, you know,” he crossed to the other side of Cas, a rough finger grazing Cas’s jawline, “and I’ve seen what you do. I know you’re a damn fag, and you need to pay for your sins,”_

* * *

 

“He spent hours hurting me after that,” Cas’s hands drifted towards his scars on his stomach, “Everyday he would come and torture me day after day after day. When the feds finally found me, I had 3 broken ribs, and improperly healed broken ankle, 3rd degree burns that covered most of my right calf and a concussion. He had brutalized me for a total of 31 days in the back of a warehouse and no one had heard the screams, the sobs! I don’t understand!”

            He sobbed harder, throwing himself onto Dean. Dean enveloped Cas in a warm hug, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight.

            “Dean?”

            “Yeah, Cas?”

            “I know we just met, but don’t let go. Please just don’t let go…”

            “I won’t, Cas. I promise you that I never will.”


	9. Everything's Going to Be Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lil' bit of smut, lil' bit of fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY. So I would really like to apologize for not posting in like three months. I was at camp for June, busy during July, and I just started school. 
> 
> Thank you to those who have stuck by me during these times and not abandoned me but ily anyway

            They stayed embraced for what seemed like hours. Minutes of peace ticked by as Cas cried into Dean’s chest. Dean had never been one for emotional attachment. Writing for magazines involved traveling all over the country and all over the world, so meeting people was common and hooking up with them was a regular occurrence. These people, however, would soon fade. Their sex was never a lasting impression, no matter how good, and because of the traveling, he couldn’t afford attachment. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Dean still remembered a few good hook ups: Lisa in Michigan, Cassie in Missouri, and even Benny down in Louisiana.

            But each and every time, Dean had left, pretty much without a trace. He never stuck around to cuddle or to hear their life story. It was sex and then a brief “goodbye”. But this—this was different. When he first saw Cas, as cheesy as it sounds, he just knew.  It was like they….had known each other in a past life. Those goddamn eyes and the perpetually messy hair just made Dean’s legs melt and the way that he always tilted his head and squinted his eyes when a customer ordered made his heart pound. There was no leaving randomly with Castiel and as he was lying in bed, Dean promised to himself and to God that he wouldn’t fuck this up.

            Soon after Dean’s thoughts slowed, Cas’s sobs quieted to a few meager sniffles.

“Dean?” Cas’s eyes were red and swollen as he glanced up at Dean, “Could you get me a tissue?”           

Dean smiled and nodded, gently moving off the bed so that Cas could lay on the pillow. He glanced back as he was walking to the bathroom to see Cas shrinking into the blankets. He chuckled, grabbing the box of tissues and took a running leap into the bed. They both bounced on the mattress due to the sudden weight gain on the bed, both laughing as Dean handed Cas the tissue box.

“Y’know, Dean. For as much time that we’ve spent in this bed, we haven’t done very many bed activities…” Cas’s eyebrows wiggled causing Dean to smile.

“Bed activities? Really, Cas?”

“Sorry we can’t all be eloquent writers like you, Dean.” Cas shoved Dean playfully in the chest but Dean grabbed his wrist before he could pull away climbing on top of Cas.

“Y’know I was joking about the whole bed activities thing, right?”

“Eh… truths are often times revealed through jokes,”

“Jesus, Dean why do you have to ---ah! That feels so amazing,” Cas could feel Dean’s smirk pressed into his sweet spot on his collarbone.

The two men worked each other’s shirts off but contact was not lost for long. Soon, Cas’s hands once again connected with Dean’s back, leaving gentle red scrapes to linger. Dean, however, was occupied with pressing kisses down Cas’s chest and stomach until reaching the waistband of his sweatpants.

“This isn’t too fast for you?” Dean questioned, fingers grazing Cas’s v-line.

“Huh? What did you say?” Cas lifted his head to squint at Dean. His face was flushed red and his hair was now plastered on his forehead.

Dean shook his head and motioned for Cas to lie down, “I’ll take that one as a no?”.

“Dean what the fuck is going on in your brain that isn’t telling you to hurry the fuck up and take off my damn pants?”

“Okay then, definitely a no.”

“DEAN!”

Castiel practically shouted as he resisted the urge to thrust his hip upwards and Dean decided to finally acquiesce. He slid both Cas’s sweatpants and boxers off, flinging them on top of one of Cas’s hundreds of piles of books.

Dean all but worshipped Cas’s body. He leaned up towards the blue-eyed man, pulling him in for a kiss. “You’re beautiful, y’know that right?” Dean whispered into the other man’s lips. If Cas could have been blushing any more he would be. Dean once again began his trail down Cas’s stomach.

He took Cas’s cock in his hand and began to slowly pump his hand up and down, changing the pressure every so often. He used his thumb to press gently on the head, earning drops of precum for his efforts. Cas moaned at every movement Dean made and Dean felt his own cock press against the zipper on his jeans. Finally, much to Cas’s pleasure, Dean lowered his head. His licked a stripe up the vein, causing Cas to jerk upwards, begging for more. The green-eyed man started to bob his head until Cas was writhing in the sheets praying for a release that Dean eagerly gave him. Stripes of cum covered Castiel’s stomach, a symbol of the pleasure he had received. Dean collapsed on the bed, next to Cas, cock fully erect, irritating him inside of his jeans.

“You want me to help with that?” Cas asked, gasping for breath.

“In any other circumstance, yes. But I think we should just lie here for a bit. It’s not like anyone dies from blue balls,” Dean pulled his jeans off, leaving him in just his boxers before scooting closer to Cas and wrapping his arms around him.

“Dean, I’m hungry.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Please make me something?” Cas peered up at Dean through his lashes, palming his crotch through the boxers.

“Jesus… ah…Cas. Sure, but only because you…asked nicely.”


End file.
